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[07 Jan 2010|11:42am] |
I think there is a firstie disease that is diseasing ALL the firsties!! SO, I have formed a SECRET ALLIANCE with several of them. I am planning on infiltrating the system from the inside!!
BUT. I rather like one of them. I don't exactly know his name because he won't talk to me, he just sort of trembles. I've taken to calling him "Oswald," though, because it is CUTE!! He's a ginger.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, has anyone noticed that we are seeing less and less gingers? I think they are a DYING breed and may go EXTINCT. SO I am trying to help Oswald SUCCEED in life.
This makes me think. Perhaps we ought to start an ADOPT A FIRSTIE PROGRAM!! We can mentor them and dress them up in cute outfits and teach them important things such as how to properly accessorize and SMILE WITH YOUR EYES! Oswald is particularly skilled at that.
WHO IS WITH ME??!! If you are looking for specifics, Oswald has a mate that needs GUIDANCE and SUPPORT!! I don't know his name either, but I'm calling him "Kermit" for the time being. He seems to respond to it.
GIVE KERMIT AND OTHERS LIKE HIM A CHANCE!!! ADOPT A FIRSTIE TODAY!!
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[02 Jan 2010|09:53am] |
Now that we are all SETTLED, I have resumed my mission to HELP THE WORLD!!
I have been OBSERVING over the summer and have noticed a few DISTURBING facts. Facts that require me to HELP people!
NOW. Many of you like alcohol. This is lovely. BUT. Some of us like it a bit TOO much. Namely, one Kale Warrington. AND I HAVE PROOF! According to his own writings, which include certain rude words I will leave out, he has spent his entire summer "[insert BAD word here]-face drunk"!! This is a TRAGEDY.
SO. I am proposing an INTERVENTION!!! Let's all come together and HELP Kale with his addiction!! I am sure this will be met with resistance from him, but that is the alcohol talking!! Really he is yearning for freedom and acceptance!!
In order to illustrate the intervention procedure, I'm including a drawing I worked VERY hard on!! I may have taken some artistic liberties, but I think it is STRIKINGLY lifelike. I've also included a sea kitten, so people will remember there are other causes to fight for as well!!
( SPELLOTAPED )
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[19 Dec 2009|03:59pm] |
I am here to inform you all that we NEED to SAVE THE SEA KITTENS!!!
Yes, that is right. SEA KITTENS.
Now many of you are probably thinking of actual kittens in the sea and to that I say NO SILLY, KITTENS CAN'T SWIM AND ARE PROBABLY ALLERGIC TO WATER!!!
It is actually a VERY CUTE way of saying FISHES. Fishes are VERY important and we need them because . . . well, I'm not really sure why we need them, but it's probably important!
So, who else will help me save the SEA KITTENS? Anyone? Please??!!
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